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There was not a dry eye in the church when everyone saw my small black coffin. They all thought of me. In the emotional atmosphere they thought about how playful and nice I was. When they thought about me, a piece of my identity was lodged in their minds, and suddenly my existence on earth started to have significance. It seems almost worthless doing anything on earth unless other people recognise it. I knew, however, that once many of the churchgoers went home to watch TV, their memories of me would start to fade. My brother, my babysitter, my parents, and my few friends will continue to mourn, but everyone else will move on with time. When those who remember me finally leave the world, their existence on earth will leave only a tiny speck on the timeline of existence. A thousand years from now, no one will be around to recognize that I ever existed.What if Erika and I survived? Sometimes I wonder what might have happened. We'd get married, have children, grow old, watch our children. Who would have thought that my petit and demure PhD. candidate could be so invested in the outcome of a game? Fortunately for me, she had adopted the Predators as ‘her’ team. Fans in the stands for twenty feet on all sides of us were amused as could be at my companion as she led them in cheers for the ‘home’ team.It wasn’t until toward the end of summer when we finally decided to take a trip away together. A trip where we would finally be ‘together’ in the carnal sense of the word.We weren’t going far. One of my fellow physicians at Vandy had a beach house on the Gulf coast of Florida that he rented out and he convinced me that having a stand-alone house would be a much better experience for us than a hotel. We would have our own refrigerator, a kitchen, and, oh by the way, he also had a fishing boat we could use if we got bored! I laughed at that, but with Aurora I never knew what adventure might appeal to her.But in a single house, we could make as much noise as we wanted without.
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